“Having It All.” (It’s a lie.)

Published: 6/25

We live in a society that preaches you can “have it all” and then some. But is that concept really true? Can you actually have it all?

The simple answer is no; you cannot have it all. Maybe you are wondering why you cannot have everything you have dreamed of and more. We’ll enlighten you by explaining why.

Having it all implies that perfection is possible and we know that it’s not. You may want to pursue all your goals simultaneously and satisfy your life’s desires all at once, but it’s just impractical. You can’t make every single person in your life happy because what makes one person content is sure to upset someone else.
Instead, you’re better off focusing on your long-term fulfillment of meeting your goals rather than merely on your short-term successes. Weigh, analyze and carefully determine what is actually a priority.

If you’re still wondering why you can’t have it all, let’s view this concept through the eyes of a child.

Your first-grader is upset because this upcoming Saturday he has a basketball game and got invited to two friends’ birthday parties – one from school and one from your church. Your child wants to go to all three events, but it’s impossible because they all overlap and occur at the same time in the early afternoon.
Your child is upset and throws a tantrum. He doesn’t understand why both friends can’t change the time of their parties to accommodate his schedule. You try to explain that life doesn’t revolve around him, but that he has to make decisions and choose which event is more important to him – playing in his basketball game or picking one of his friends’ birthday parties to attend.

Reasonable people understand that life doesn’t revolve around them, but this is a concept that we need to teach children. The bottom line is that your child can’t have everything because that means other people must make sacrifices to accommodate these wishes.

As adults, our lives are the same way. We can’t expect everyone to bend over backward to meet our schedules. We can, however, incorporate a few different techniques into our daily interactions and goal-setting to help us achieve at least some of our goals since we are forced to admit it’s impossible to achieve 100% of everything we desire.

Tackle the Tough Tasks

Look at what’s on your kick the bucket list.
It’s probably got some difficult tasks that you want to cross off. Ask yourself why you haven’t accomplished your list. Chances are, you’ll say that some of these to-do items are hard, time-consuming or cost a lot of money. Well, no one ever said life wasn’t hard. In fact, it’s supposed to be hard. If life was a cakewalk for everyone, what good would that be? We wouldn’t be challenged both physically and mentally. Well, the bottom line is that if your character isn’t tested, you simply become spineless. So do something, push yourself and turn your dreams into realities.

Avoid Negativity

We’ve all heard about avoiding Negative Nellies, but it’s actually true. People are hardwired to be negative. That’s just a fact. That’s why the world is full of lying, backstabbing, bullying, jealousy, stealing, complaining and people casting blame on one another. It’s human nature.
The problem with humans is that we inherently want to see the best in people. We make excuses, such as:

  • “Well, he means well.”
  • “She didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.”
  • “Time goes by, and things will change.”
  • “She’ll come around eventually.”

Sound familiar? That’s because as humans we strive to see the best in people. But the bottom line is that we know we can’t change people, so why do we try so hard? Accept that people won’t change and if they’re a negative influence in your life, move on.

Give More, Take Less

We’ve all heard the adage, “Take less and give more.” Human nature is to focus on taking – we want shelter, food and an education. We take, take, take. That’s what babies do because they don’t know any better and are helpless. However, as we progress into adulthood, we need to learn to give more and take less. We aren’t entitled to anything. Instead of focusing on what the world should give you, start thinking about what you can offer humankind.

Go Your Own Way

Just like the Fleetwood Mac song, “Go Your Own Way” implies, you can create your path. You are you. You are unique. Why are you traveling the same road as millions of other people? Get off that worn down, beaten path and start creating your own way.

Embrace Positivity

Embracing positivity allows you to live in the present and future, not the past. While the past helps you learn from your mistakes, it’s also a pitfall that many people fall into, wondering, “Why?” and “Could things have been different?” Stray away from this dimension and focus on making the present better so you can have a more positive future.

The practical point is that life has to move forward, so why dwell on the past?

Life is short, and you need to get the most out of it. That’s the goal you should be living.

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